An eggy tale

Said the man, to the cop, "It ain't fair,
I had gone to the witch with a prayer
That she cure the strife
Twixt me and my wife -
But instead, she egged my underwear!"


Reuters 16/11/07: Cypriot seeks to unravel curse with pants and egg. Get the story here

Taking a leaf out of Arnie's book

California's gov'ner and chief,
Said the ganja ain't drug, just a leaf.
He may have been joking,
But those who love smoking,
Roll their joints now with heightened relief!

:D

CBS news 30/10/07: California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says marijuana is not a drug, a British magazine reported Monday. But his spokesman said the governor was joking. Get the story here

And the Nobel Peace Prize goes to...

"The global warmth is on the rise,"
The pundits warned, "soon we'll be fries."
"That's scary as hell,"
Thought folks at Nobel,
"Let's bring down the heat with our prize!"


HT 14/10/07: A piece of peace. Read the story here

Lose your shirt, Mr. President

The Pakistan President looked hurt.
With Ma'am Bhutto he'd tried to flirt,
But the lady, high-handed,
Was forthright, demanded -
That Mush dear first take off his shirt!

Musharraf ready to quit army, says aide, but obstacles pile up
Declan Walsh in Islamabad
Tuesday September 18, 2007
The Guardian

Get the story here

Kitty Cop

A teen asked a cop (with a wink),
"You've broken some rules, I should think?
So then how can you fine
Me for being out of line -
While sporting a kitty in pink?"

CNN 06/08/07: Thai policemen who break rules will be forced to wear hot pink armbands featuring "Hello Kitty," the Japanese icon of cute, as a mark of shame, a senior officer said Monday. Get the story here

Photo Credit: yellowberry.org


PS: This blog is on holiday till Monday

Goodbye, Mr. Ingmar Bergman

Oh, what can I tell you about
Ernst Bergman? I'm truly devout
An admirer of his;
A director, who is
The greatest - of that I've no doubt!



Reuters 30/07/07: Swedish film icon Ingmar Bergman dies at 89. Read about it here

SIMply terrifying!

If one day you act on a whim,
And go lend a cousin your SIM,
You may just have backed,
A terrorist act -
Beware! For your fate could be grim!

ABC Online Australia 24/07/07: Detained Indian doctor Mohamed Haneef has told a close family member the extraordinary events surrounding his arrest are part of his destiny. Get the story here

As terror grows

A diplomat cried in dismay,
"Al-Qaeda is blazing away;
It's the war-hungry Bush,
And the weakness of Mush,
That helps them grow strong by the day!"


The Age 18/07/07: Bin Laden growing stronger, says US. Get the story here

Pants off!

Then the judge said, sir, I've heard your rants
About losing your loved pair of pants
But the cost that you've claimed
Has left me ashamed
So I'll squash your case like I do ants!

ET 26/06/07: judge in the US capital lost his $ 54 million lawsuit on Monday against a dry cleaner over a pair of misplaced trousers in a case that became a symbol of the United States' lawsuit-happy legal system. Read the story here

The name game

In New Zealand if you have filed,
A numeric name for your child,
It will be struck down,
By the law with a frown,
Cause it may be '4real' but its wild!

Yahoo News 21/06/07: New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed. Get the story here

The bare truth

In New York, if a girl bares her chest,
Don't call cops, don't go get charges pressed.
Don't get mad, don't oppose,
Or you'll pay through your nose,
For like men, she can now go undressed!


CNN 18/06/07: New York City pays $29,000 for arresting topless woman. Read about it here

The key to Afghanistan

"These Talibans are killing us like fleas,
Need backup, come quick, help us, please!"
As he read this mail,
The officer turned pale-
For what could he do without keys?

Yahoo News 07/06/07: Poland's 1,200 troops assigned to NATO forces in Afghanistan will not achieve full combat readiness for up to several weeks due to stolen vehicle keys, the defense ministry said Thursday. Get the story here

On World Environment Day

For years, we didn't care the least bit
We messed up Earth as we saw fit
Now thanks to our lapse
We've melting ice caps
We were foolish - it's time to admit!

Reuters 05/06/07: Nations around the globe held events to mark World Environment Day on Tuesday focusing on the theme "Melting Ice -- a Hot Topic?" to complement International Polar Year 2007.

Link

The Teletubby saga: Gay? You don't say!

"Dear Dipsy and Laa-Laa," wrote Po,
"From Poland we'll soon have to go.
Our dear Tinky Winky,
They suspect, is kinky,
For using a purse on the show!"

Both wrote back, "It's truly unkind,
The way they have Twinky maligned.
Now what can we say,
Seems humans today
Have nothing but sex on their mind!"

BBC News 28/05/07: A senior Polish official has ordered psychologists to investigate whether the popular BBC TV show Teletubbies promotes a homosexual lifestyle. Get the story here

Are we growing more and more paranoid by the day? Why do we have to read between the lines even where there are no lines to read between? For God's sake, even Freud had said, "Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar"!

Seriously, I think we are taking some things too far - and far too seriously.

US and the global warming myth

"The world's getting hot? You don't say!"
Smirked Bush, (in a chilled tub he lay),
"We'll try help you beat,
This fictitious heat,
But capping emissions? No way!"

Washington Post 26/05/07: U.S. Rejects G-8 Climate Proposal. Get the story here

Celebrity quiz

Like brave Inkspot, he too had fame,
His sleuthing skills met wide acclaim.
Now he and his pet
Snowy dog are all set
To be Hollywood stars - guess his name?


For the correct answer, check here.

Skill Bill

Do you think maybe Wolfowitz will
Have to give up his post at bankville?
Well, the picture ain't clear,
And from what I hear
He has hired the same lawyer as Bill!

International Herald Tribune 24/04/07: Signaling anew that he will fight for his job as World Bank president, Paul Wolfowitz has enlisted a prominent lawyer who defended President Bill Clinton against accusations of sexual misconduct to help convince the bank's board that Wolfowitz has done nothing to justify being ousted.

Happy birthday dear Father!

There lived a young lady in Rome,
Who went off to St. Peter’s dome.
She climbed the bell-rope,
Yelled, "long live the Pope,"
Then climbed down and headed back home!


USA Today 16/04/07: The Pope turns 80 in low-key fashion.

Attention please!

Too late in the day did we find
His writings showed his state of mind
Bloodbath and pain
Many lives lost in vain
And all because - we had been blind!

Guardian 18/04/07: The gunman in the Virginia Tech massacre was a sullen loner who alarmed professors and classmates with his twisted, violence-drenched creative writing and left a rambling note raging against religion and rich kids. Read on

This makes me stop and think: Where do we draw the line between imagination, fantasy and a cry for help from a mind that is ill? Could we have averted this tragedy had we not listened with half an ear?


Related read: Arms & the man

How to give your girlfriend a gift and pay for it...

A chieftain was suffering from the notion
That his dear girlfriend deserved a promotion.
So, singing her praise ,
He went, got her a raise,
But his act caused a hellish commotion!

OR ...

"The dear girl is deserving of praise,"
Thought the chief, so he got her a raise.
But soon he turned pale,
When the press broke the tale,
Now the poor chap is counting his days!

Reuters 16/04/07: World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz on Sunday dug in his heels over the promotion he approved for his girlfriend and said he intends to stay in his job, even as bank member governments voiced "great concern" the institution might not be able to function properly. Read on