October 30, 2009

When your bank asks you to prove your gender

Recently, SCB sent me a cheque book adding Mr. (instead of Ms.) before my name. When I called up their PhoneBanking to point out the error, an extremely cheerful, young voice at the other end of the call-center line asked me to drop into the nearest branch for 'correction'. "They would also need some proof", the helpful voice offered. Now surely, this one is just crying out loud for a Newsmerick :-D

"Hello PhoneBanking, please tell me why,
My new cheque book says I'm a guy?"
"Ma'am, sorry for the goof
Please drop in with proof
At our nearest branch - we'll rectify."

October 20, 2009

Some thoughts on the Balloon Boy story

"Our little boy has gone a-flying,"
The parents of Falcon said crying.
A world watched aghast,
The balloon flying past,
But then there were claims they were lying!

As TV shows pander to voyeurs,
And show contents become destroyers,
Of ethics, for fame,
Folks like these make a game,
Out of everything - Winners? Their lawyers!

If you haven't got enough of this story already, get the latest updates here

October 12, 2009

Obama's Nobel :The Inkspot story

Well everyone has had something to say about it. We have dissected it, debated it, explored the motives behind it and almost dug up Mr. Nobel himself to ask what he would have thought about it. In the midst of all this, our intrepid Inkspot appears to have dug into the recipient's heart and come up with the 'true story' of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Enjoy!


Asked Inkspot, "Obama, pray tell
what made them give you the Nobel?"
Said the President, "Old boy,
Can't you see it's a ploy
To vanquish my peace, give me hell?"

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October 1, 2009

Sexing up cricket

When I told them, "boys, get some action,"
Said Kirsten, with dissatisfaction,
 "I meant, practice cricket,
Not, go forth and stick it --
Am hurt by such vulgar reaction!"

Crickinfo India 25/09/09:  Gary Kirsten, India's coach, has said he was not involved in the preparing a controversial document that encouraged cricketers to have sex before matches.Get the story here

Further reads 1, 2 
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September 5, 2009

Checkmate

A grandmaster, who had been slated,
To play, dozed off inebriated.
Though much did they shake him,
Yet no one could wake him,
So they had to declare him -- checkmated.

Reuters 04/09/09: A leading French chess player turned up drunk and dozed off after just 11 moves in an international tournament in Kolkata, losing the round on technical grounds, domestic media reported Friday. Get the details here

September 3, 2009

A worker bee's tale of woe

A worker bee had this to tell
His queen who was giving him hell.
"Dear madam, till date,
I've never been late,
But nowadays, things are not well.

O great queen, I have to confess,
My sense of direction's a mess.
These tall mobile towers,
Have killed homing powers --
To get back home, need GPS!"


AFP: 01/09/09: NEW DELHI — The electromagnetic waves emitted by mobile phone towers and cellphones can pose a threat to honey bees, a study published in India has concluded. Get the story here

August 27, 2009

On why the BJP is not Ku Klux Klan

A clearly rattled BJP worker tells Inkspot why Mr. Jaswant Singh's Ku Klux Klan analogy was absolutely unacceptable.

"He can finger our RSS souls,
And can blame us for having no goals.
But all this Klan talking,
Is simply too shocking--
For we never wear white sheets with holes!"


TOI 27/08/09: Jaswant Singh's reference to the BJP, of which he was member for 30-odd years, as a KKK-type outfit came in an interview to a news agency. Apparently in reaction to a question on why he was sacked, the former minister said, "Please don't ask me. I am outside the magic circle of advisers or thinkers. Because I am not from the RSS, is that why? So are we a political party? Is the BJP becoming some kind of an Indian version of Ku Klux Klan?" Get the details here

August 17, 2009

In matters of religion, sometimes the path leads to the bath

"Religion", said Santa, forlorn,
"These days is of Godliness shorn.
So priests spend their hours,
Filming ladies in showers,
And, believe it or not, watching porn!"


TOI 16/08/09: Sikh priest films woman taking bath. Get the story here